Healing Hearts Connection

Downloadable brochures and flyers

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 17:49:00 GMT

You can now download our latest Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp Flyer directly from our website. Click the buttons below to download this file. If you would like a printable file of our Healing Hearts Connection trifold brochure, click the button below to request the file be sent via email. Thank you for helping… The post Downloadable brochures and flyers appeared first on Healing Hearts Connection.

COVID 19 guidelines and Fall Camp 22

Fri, 16 Sep 2022 17:48:00 GMT

Will we be having camp this fall?

Yes! We are planning for a safe and impactful two-day camp on November 5th-6th, 2022 in Hudson, WI .

The health and safety of our campers and volunteers is our number one priority, and we are making choices with that in mind. Please note that these guidelines may change if there is a significant increase in infection rates or if the guidelines from the CDC or MDH change.

What are we doing to protect campers and volunteers while at camp?

We have put protocols in place in all areas of Camp to mitigate the spread of the coronavirus.

In particular, the following policies will be adhered to:

Facemasks will be optional indoors and will be provided upon request.
Each participant will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
Weather permitting, activities will take place outdoors, or with windows and outside doors propped open to allow fresh air to circulate in the buildings.
Hand washing and sanitizing will be required before each activity and when transitioning to a different area.
Campers will be provided with water bottles. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.

Information for volunteers

Each volunteer will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
Facemasks will be optional indoors and will be provided upon request.

Response of Healing Hearts Connection (HHC) if someone becomes sick.

During Camp
A participant who is showing symptoms will be isolated and seen by the Camp Nurse for an assessment. If the participant is a child, the Executive Director will inform the parents/legal guardians that their child(ren) is showing symptoms. Should a participant show symptoms, they will be asked to get a COVID-19 test at their own cost, and share the results with HHC (as indicated in the waiver). HHC will communicate findings via email with all families in a timely manner.

HHC will inform local health officials of confirmed cases immediately.

After Camp

HHC will immediately inform participants about any potential contact they may have had with confirmed cases.

FAQs

What if my situation or condition makes me more vulnerable to COVID-19?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

Can you guarantee that my family will not be exposed to or get sick from COVID-19?

We are unable to guarantee that your family will not be exposed to COVID-19 or other illnesses.

What if I’d like to attend, but I am not from the metro area?

We encourage you to attend! There are a number of hotels very close to YMCA Camp St. Croix that we can recommend for you to stay at on Friday night.

How do I register for Fall Camp?

To register for Fall Camp 2022, click this link

I have a question that isn’t covered here.

Please email jessica@healingheartsconnection.com and we will answer your questions as quickly as possible.

A Griever’s Guide to Mother’s Day

Thu, 05 May 2022 21:16:00 GMT

Mother’s Day is coming up, and for many grieving people, so are a lot of emotions. We want you to know that we see you. If Mother’s Day feels like it’s going to be hard for you, we’d like to offer some tips for making it through the day. This is not a step-by-step list, and you don’t need to do all of these things, just try what feels right to you.

Make a plan: Expecting that Mother’s Day will be difficult lets you make a plan for how you want to spend that day. Be gentle with yourself and try to spend some time with people who will allow you to feel how you feel.
Make meaning: Do something to honor your loved one. This could be volunteering, making a donation in their name, or simply creating a new tradition around Mother’s Day.
Ask for help: If you think you will need support on Mother’s Day, ask someone you can trust to support you, and try to give them an idea of what support looks like to you.
Breathe: It’s ok to not be happy on Mother’s Day, and it’s ok to be happy, too. ALL FEELINGS ARE OK. Let yourself feel your feelings and if you start to feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath in through your nose while you count to three, then hold it for a count of three, then blow out through your mouth for a count of three. Repeat this two more times…or twenty.
Stay off the social media: Just put away the internet for Mother’s Day. It will be there on Monday, I promise.

Our hope is that some of these ideas help you not only through big days like Mother’s Day but every other day, too.

What’s going on at CGC?

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 06:12:00 GMT

That’s a very good question, I’d love to answer that for you. First, I have to tell you that we are incredibly grateful to everyone that participated in and donated to our 2022 Frunge!

On March 5th, just before the last Frungers leapt into the icy waters of Lake Waconia, we were able to announce that we made our fundraising goal of $100,000! The continued support of our Frungers and donors sustains our programs as we bring hope and healing to grieving families in the United States. The Frunge is our largest fundraiser of the year, and to see our people continue to show up for it in ways big and small is truly heartwarming, and reminds us that there is good in the world.

At the Frunge, we announced something very special that we have been working on for over a year. Children’s Grief Connection will be changing our name to Healing Hearts Connection. Since the beginning of our organization over 20 years ago, we have adapted both our name and our programming. We started as Minnesota Foundation for Children offering a camp for grieving children only. We evolved into CGC and started offering programs for the entire family and communities.

The word ‘children’ in our old name is not fully representative of our services and future goals. As we have evolved and changed, we needed a name that was more inclusive of ALL those that we serve. We believe this new name better expresses all that we currently offer while allowing more room for growth as our organization continues to change and adapt to the needs of our grieving families.

Even though we are changing, we are still a family. We will still offer Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camps. We still have hope and plans to return to our 3-day programming. Our positioning statement stays the same:

Since 2001, we have been on a mission to provide hope and healing to families and individuals who have experienced the trauma of the death of a loved one.

Our approach is collaborative, dynamic, energetic, and relatable. Through engaging, innovative peer-based programming and community-building, we aim to help others manage the pain of loss while inspiring hope, joy, peace of mind, and a sense of belonging.

We’re not a therapy replacement or all-in-one solution; our goal is to serve as an energizing stepping stone and guiding force for those on the bereavement journey and to support them along the way.

We’d like to take this time to recognize the efforts of the team at Russell Herder , who gave us the invaluable gift of our new brand. They put together a team that not only walked us through the re-naming and redesign of our logo, but they truly got what we do, and who we are. A few of their team members have even started volunteering at camp!

In the coming months, you will see us changing from Children’s Grief Connection to Healing Hearts Connection. After Spring camp, look for a video explaining more about our new name, and new logo. You will see our social media and website changing as well.

We want to thank you for your support as we move forward and continue to be a community of seekers and providers of hope and healing.

COVID-19 guidelines and Spring Camp

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 20:23:00 GMT

Will we be having camp this spring?

Yes! We are planning for a safe and impactful one-day, in-person program on April 2nd, 2022.

To maximize safety for everyone we are consolidating our usual three-day experience to a single day. This is to avoid the risks inherent with overnight stays in shared spaces.

In what follows, we have made modifications in our usual programming that align with recommended guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Minnesota Department of Health, the American Camping Association, and Camp Friendship.

The health and safety of our campers and volunteers is our number one priority, and we are making choices with that in mind. We did not come by this decision lightly but chose the most impactful, safest way to bring hope and healing that we can.

What are we doing to protect campers and volunteers while at camp?

We have put protocols in place in all areas of camp to mitigate the spread of the coronavirus. These include: changes to group size, screening procedures, camp hygiene practices, and cleaning and disinfecting.

In particular, the following policies will be adhered to:

Facemasks will be required at all times indoors unless a person is eating in the dining hall
We will be providing N95 and KN95 style masks for all participants
All food will be eaten in the dining hall or outdoors. Sharing circles (age appropriate pods) will be seated together, while physically distanced from others.
Each participant will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
A temperature screening will be required of volunteers and campers upon arrival. Any person with a temperature above 100.3, or deemed a risk because of potential exposure to the virus will be sent home.
Sharing circles will not exceed 10 participants in order to adhere to the 10-person limit indicated in guidelines.
Weather permitting, activities will take place outdoors, or with windows and outside doors propped open to allow fresh air to circulate in the buildings.
Hand washing and sanitizing will be required before each activity and when transitioning to a different area.
Campers will not be permitted to stay overnight at Camp Friendship.
Sharing circles will use outdoor walkways to transition to different areas when possible
Campers will be provided with water bottles.No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
We will not be providing care for children under school age at this camp.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
Capacity will be limited to 100 persons

Information for volunteers

Each volunteer will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
Volunteers traveling to participate in the camp will be allowed to stay overnight, though only sharing rooms if they belong to the same household. We will be asking volunteers that live in the metro area to sleep at home on Friday night.
Volunteers will be asked to bring their own water bottle. No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
No Camp Prep Day at the Sturgeon Lake storage facility will take place.
One N95 style facemask will be provided to each volunteer upon arrival at camp. Please bring at least one personal “back up” mask.

Response of Children’s Grief Connection if someone becomes sick.

During Camp
A participant who is showing symptoms will be isolated and seen by the Camp Nurse for an assessment. If the participant is a child, the Executive Director will inform the parents/legal guardians that their child(ren) is showing symptoms of illness. Should a participant show symptoms of illness, they will be asked to get a COVID-19 test at their own cost, and share the results with CGC (as indicated in the waiver). All participants will be notified by the Executive Director of a suspected case and immediately sent home. CGC will communicate findings via phone call with all families in a timely manner.

CGC will inform local health officials of suspected or confirmed cases immediately.

After Camp

CGC will immediately inform participants about any potential contact they may have had with suspected or confirmed cases.

FAQs

What if I cannot wear a mask due to medical reasons?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

What if my situation or condition makes me more vulnerable to COVID 19?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

Can you guarantee that my family will not be exposed to or get sick from COVID 19?

We are unable to guarantee that your family will not be exposed to COVID-19 or other illnesses. We have followed the recommendations of the CDC, MDH, and local authorities to create protocols and procedures that minimize risk.

How will you ensure physical distancing with younger campers?

We cannot guarantee that physical distancing will be followed by younger campers. We will emphasize with this group the importance of personal space and boundaries as a way of promoting physical distancing. We will also try to avoid overlap between groups in shared areas.

What if I’d like to attend, but I am not from the metro area?

We encourage you to attend! There are a number of hotels very close that we can recommend for you to stay at on Friday or Saturday night.

How do I register for Spring Camp?

To register for Spring Camp 2022, click this link

I have a question that isn’t covered here.

Please email hope@childrensgriefconnection.com and we will answer your questions as quickly as possible.

COVID19 guidelines & Fall Camp 21

Thu, 16 Sep 2021 15:35:00 GMT

Will we be having camp this fall?

Yes! We are planning for a safe and impactful one-day, in-person program on November 6th, 2021.

To maximize safety for everyone we are consolidating our usual three-day experience to a single day. This is to avoid the risks inherent with overnight stays in shared spaces.

The health and safety of our campers and volunteers is our number one priority, and we are making choices with that in mind. We did not come by this decision lightly, but chose the most impactful, safest way to bring hope and healing that we can.

What are we doing to protect campers and volunteers while at camp?

In particular, the following policies will be adhered to:

Facemasks will be required at all times indoors unless a person is eating in the dining hall
All food will be eaten in the dining hall or outdoors. Sharing circles (age appropriate pods) will be seated together, while physically distanced from others.
Each participant will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
A temperature screening will be required of volunteers and campers upon arrival. Any person with a temperature above 100.3, or deemed a risk because of potential exposure to the virus will be sent home.
Sharing circles will not exceed 10 participants in order to adhere to the 10-person limit indicated in guidelines.
Camp St. Croix staff is following cleaning and disinfecting standards more stringent than those recommended by the CDC.
Weather permitting, activities will take place outdoors, or with windows and outside doors propped open to allow fresh air to circulate in the buildings.
Hand washing and sanitizing will be required before each activity and when transitioning to a different area.
Campers will not be permitted to stay overnight at Camp St. Croix.
Sharing circles will use outdoor walkways to transition to different areas
Campers will be provided with water bottles.No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
We will not be providing care for children under school age at this camp.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
Capacity will be limited to 85 persons

Information for volunteers

Each volunteer will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
Volunteers traveling to participate in the camp will be allowed to stay overnight, though only sharing rooms if they belong to the same household. We will be asking volunteers that live in the metro area to sleep at home on Friday night.
Volunteers will be asked to bring their own water bottle. No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
No Camp Prep Day at the Sturgeon Lake storage facility will take place.
One facemask will be provided to each volunteer upon arrival at camp. Please bring at least one personal “back up” mask.

Response of Children’s Grief Connection if someone becomes sick.

During Camp
A participant who is showing symptoms will be isolated and seen by the Camp Nurse for an assessment. If the participant is a child, the Executive Director will inform the parents/legal guardians that their child(ren) is showing symptoms. Should a participant show symptoms, they will be asked to get a COVID-19 test at their own cost, and share the results with CGC (as indicated in the waiver). All participants will be notified by the Executive Director of a suspected case and immediately sent home. CGC will communicate findings via phone call with all families in a timely manner.

CGC will inform local health officials of suspected or confirmed cases immediately.

After Camp

CGC will immediately inform participants about any potential contact they may have had with suspected or confirmed cases.

FAQs

What if I cannot wear a mask due to medical reasons?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

What if my situation or condition makes me more vulnerable to COVID 19?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

Can you guarantee that my family will not be exposed to or get sick from COVID 19?

We are unable to guarantee that your family will not be exposed to COVID-19 or other illnesses. We have followed the recommendations of the CDC, MDH and local authorities to create protocols and procedures that minimize risk.

How will you ensure physical distancing with younger campers?

We cannot guarantee that physical distancing will be followed with younger campers. We will emphasize with this group the importance of personal space and boundaries as a way of promoting physical distancing. We will also avoid overlap between groups in shared areas.

What if I’d like to attend, but I am not from the metro area?

We encourage you to attend! There are a number of hotels very close to YMCA Camp St. Croix that we can recommend for you to stay at on Friday or Saturday night.

How do I register for Fall Camp?

To register for Fall Camp 2021, click this link

I have a question that isn’t covered here.

Please email hope@childrensgriefconnection.com and we will answer your questions as quickly as possible.

3 myths about grief debunked.

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 15:07:00 GMT

In honor of National Grief Awareness Day, we’re myth busting!

Join us!

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 14:13:00 GMT

Get your camping chairs ready and head to Litchfield, MN… We have been invited to be one of the beneficiaries of the family friendly Songs of Summer Festival. Come and visit us at our booth to get a taste of camp. We can’t wait to see you! For more information, click this link: http://songsofsummerfestival.com/

More support for our campers

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 14:24:00 GMT

We at Children’s Grief Connection are of the belief that all kids attending Hearts Of Hope Family Grief Camp are in need of support. However, after noticing a need for additional emotional, behavioral, and physical support at camp, we have created a new Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp Leadership position and volunteer role titled Empower Rangers (ERs).

The goal of this role is to support HOHFGC Camping and Teen counselor volunteers both in sharing circles and “on call” in cases of children with atypical presentation needing extra emotional, behavioral and physical support. We are looking for volunteers with specific experience working with children with emotional, behavioral and physical challenges. Molly Cook has been asked to serve on the Camp Leadership team as the director of this new program.

Job Qualifications:

Empower Ranger volunteers will have additional education and/or experience working with children experiencing emotional or behavioral distress and dysregulation.
ER volunteers will have a background in implementing verbal crisis de-escalation techniques, coping mechanisms, and one-to-one support with children who have experienced trauma (such as grief).

Job Description:

Empower Rangers will work with all campers that need a little extra support processing their grief.
Volunteers with the Empower Rangers team will provide all of the same job duties as our regular volunteers in the camper (school age) and teen programs. They will assist in facilitating sharing circles, free time, and activities with all of the campers in their group.
If there are not enough ER volunteers for every group, they will be available to be dispatched when/where needed to help any campers.
ER volunteers will not be distinguished differently than other volunteers to the campers.
ER volunteers will be subject to all requirements of HOHFCG volunteers (Background checks, training, time requirements, policies and procedures) as well as an additional online training specific to their role.

We understand that some children will have needs beyond what we can address at camp. The ERs are not intended to provide formal therapy or technical behavior intervention and instead are here to enhance the camp experience for all. In the event of a concern, we will always partner with families to ensure their child is safe and having a positive experience.

If you are interested in applying for this volunteer role at our next camp, please click this link .

Announcement of New Board Officers and Members

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 17:38:00 GMT

Children’s Grief Connection is delighted to announce the appointment of Roger Matza , CHEP USA , as new President of the Board of Directors; Alicia Carr, Kelco Supply Co , as Vice President; Maria Cervantes , Funeral Directors Life Insurance Company , as Treasurer; and Carly Gaytan-Kiser , Schuller Family Funeral Homes .as Secretary.

Children’s Grief Connection also welcomes the following new officers to the Board of Directors: Molly Cook , Hennepin County Human Services , Casey Gores , Casey Gores Realty , Joseph Morcomb , Totino Grace High School and board officer for the Minnesota School Counselors Association , Michelle Schuleman , Ready Credit Corporation , and Ean Sinn, Ballhorn Chapels .

“I am thrilled to be able to bring such a talented and committed group of professionals onto our board,” shared Alex Treitler, CGC Executive Director. “These individuals bring a wealth of experience and expertise in their fields and offer niche competencies in the areas of business development, communications and marketing. The energy that they have already shown will make a huge difference as we further our mission of connecting grieving families with hope.”

Children’s Grief Connection (CGC) is a non-profit based in Saint Paul, MN serving families devastated by the death of a loved one. Through the CGC Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camps and associated programs, families make deep and lasting connections that bring healing and hope.

Registration is on for Spring Camp!

Fri, 12 Feb 2021 07:00:00 GMT

Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp, Spring 2021

Will we be having camp this spring?

Yes! We are planning for a safe and impactful one-day, in-person program on April 10th, 2021 at Camp Friendship in Annandale, MN.

To maximize safety for everyone we are consolidating our usual three-day experience to a single day. This is to avoid the risks inherent with overnight stays in shared spaces.

What are we doing to protect campers and volunteers while at camp?

In particular, the following policies will be adhered to:

Facemasks will be required at all times indoors unless a person is eating in the dining hall
All food will be eaten in the dining hall. Sharing circles (age appropriate pods) will be seated together, while physically distanced from others.
Each camper will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
A temperature screening will be required of volunteers and campers upon arrival. Any family member with a temperature above 100.3, or deemed a risk because of potential exposure to the virus will be sent home
Sharing circles will not exceed 10 participants in order to adhere to the 10-person limit indicated in guidelines.
Camp Friendship staff is following cleaning and disinfecting standards recommended by the CDC, MDH and OSHA.
Weather permitting, activities will take place outdoors, or with windows and outside doors propped open to allow fresh air to circulate in the buildings.
Hand washing and sanitizing will be required before each activity and when transitioning to a different area.
Campers will not be permitted to stay overnight at Camp Friendship.
Sharing circles will use outdoor walkways to transition to different areas whenever possible.
Campers will be provided with water bottles.No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
We will not be providing care for children under school age at this camp.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
Capacity will be limited to 55 persons.

Information for volunteers

Each volunteer will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
Volunteers traveling to participate in the camp will be allowed to stay overnight, though only sharing cabins if they belong to the same household. Volunteers living in the vicinity of Annandale will be asked to sleep at home on Friday and Saturday night.
Volunteers will be asked to bring their own water bottle. No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
No Camp Prep Day at the Sturgeon Lake storage facility will take place in order to limit contact with the community and each other.
One facemask will be provided to each volunteer upon arrival at camp. Please bring at least one personal “back up” mask.

Response of Children’s Grief Connection if someone becomes sick.

During Camp
A participant who is showing symptoms will be isolated and seen by the Camp Nurse for an assessment. If the participant is a child, the Executive Director will inform the parents/legal guardians that their child(ren) is showing symptoms. Should a participant show symptoms, they will be asked to get a COVID-19 test at their own cost, and share the results with CGC (as indicated in the waiver). All participants will be notified by the Executive Director of a suspected case and immediately sent home. CGC will communicate findings via phone call with all families in a timely manner.]

CGC will inform local health officials of suspected or confirmed cases immediately.

After Camp

CGC will immediately inform participants about any potential contact they may have had with suspected or confirmed cases.

FAQs

What if I cannot wear a mask due to medical reasons?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

What if my situation or condition makes me more vulnerable to COVID 19?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

What if I have had the vaccine, do I still need to wear a mask?

Yes, please. The CDC recommends that fully vaccinated people continue to wear masks and avoid close contact with others to help prevent the spread of the virus that causes COVID-19.

Can you guarantee that my family will not be exposed to or get sick from COVID 19?

How will you ensure physical distancing with younger campers?

What if I’d like to attend, but I am not from the metro area?

We encourage you to attend! There are a number of hotels close to Camp Friendship that we can recommend for you to stay at on Friday or Saturday night. A list of hotels will be sent to registrants.

How do I register for Spring Camp?

To register for Spring Camp 2021, click this link

I have a question that isn’t covered here.

Please email hope@childrensgriefconnection.com and we will answer your questions as quickly as possible.

The Calming Power of Reading-How to calm your mind in 20 minutes a day WITH book recommendations

Thu, 07 Jan 2021 15:15:00 GMT

In today’s post, our last in this series, we’ll talk about how reading as little as 20 minutes a day can improve your mental and physical health. We’ll also get recommendations from a few of our board members.

https://youtu.be/d3wH5vrFuqI

The life-changing power of giving

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 15:15:00 GMT

Today we’re going to talk about giving and how it can help your brain and body become healthier and happier. We know that giving either with a donation or volunteering can help others, but it turns out that giving actually helps you as well.

https://youtu.be/XCStC7vUb4c

Welcome to our informational series, Hope for the Holidays. This series will run throughout December, highlight different aspects of grieving during the Holidays and offer tools to help you cope and heal.

Children’s Grief Connection serves families who are experiencing the death of a loved one.

For more information about volunteering or donating to Children’s Grief Connection, click this link: https://childrensgriefconnection.com

For more information about the Bear Share, click here: https://childrensgriefconnection.com/bearshare/

If you or someone you know is struggling during this time, please reach out for help. Below are some resources:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI-MN) (651) 645-2948 or https://www.nami.org

Coalition to Support Grieving Students: https://grievingstudents.org Text 4 Life MN: 741741

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255

Healing Grief with Holiday Recipes-Why making those favorites can be good for you.

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 15:05:00 GMT

In this post, we’ll talk about how cooking and baking the favorite recipes of our loved ones can help heal grief and even calm anxiety and stress. Members of our staff will share their favorite family recipes and why they are special to them.

https://youtu.be/kptNX5NcGNg

Here is a link to the “Find 5” activity mentioned in this post: https://youtu.be/zxN0Tzk4hBM

If you or someone you know is struggling during this time, please reach out for help. Below are some resources: National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI-MN) (651) 645-2948 or https://www.nami.org Coalition to Support Grieving Students: https://grievingstudents.org Text 4 Life MN: 741741 National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255

Honoring our loved ones during Hanukkah

Wed, 09 Dec 2020 15:04:00 GMT

In this post, our Executive Director, Alex Treitler, talks about a way to honor our dead loved ones during our Hanukkah celebrations.

If you or someone you know is struggling during this time, please reach out for help. Below are some resources:

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI-MN) (651) 645-2948 or https://www.nami.org

Coalition to Support Grieving Students: https://grievingstudents.org

Text 4 Life MN: 741741

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255

Self Care Favorites

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 22:45:00 GMT

Today, we are offering some self-care ideas from our Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp Leadership Team.

Minnesota’s Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp gives mourning kids a place to connect-and have fun-Star Tribune

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 15:11:00 GMT

An Empty Chair: a simple, Thanksgiving memorial activity with no prep

Wed, 25 Nov 2020 15:15:00 GMT

Today, we are offering a quick way to memorialize a loved one during Thanksgiving, or any holiday meal. This easy, simple thing can be done in seconds and is an excellent way to remember a loved one that has died.

Our new informational series, Hope for the Holidays, will run through December and highlight different aspects of grieving during the Holidays and offer tools to help you cope and heal.

Online Support Groups

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 17:06:00 GMT

During COVID-19, Children’s Grief Connection is offering free online grief support groups for parents, college students, and teens. Our online grief support groups create life giving connections.

Click the button below to be notified when registration opens for these groups.

The Bear Share

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 16:35:00 GMT

HELPING GRIEVING FAMILIES
Since 2001, Children’s Grief Connection has helped over 700
families heal and find hope after the tragic loss of a loved
one.

One way we help is through free weekend retreats at
Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp. Here you’ll find a safe
space to share the pain of grief, connect with other grieving
families, and experience the joy that community brings.

AT CAMP, EVERY KID GETS A FREE TEDDY BEAR

This holiday season, we are happy to partner with
Washburn-McReavy Funeral Chapels, Cemeteries and
Cremation Services to raise money and put teddy bears in
the arms of more kids. We call it “The Great Bear Share”.

Click the button below to purchase a bear and brighten a grieving child’s day!

You may also visit any of the 16 Washburn-McReavy Funeral
Chapels for more information and to donate. Look for the
Children’s Grief Connection Great Bear Share display.

Hope for the Holidays: an informational web series for the grieving

Wed, 18 Nov 2020 12:36:00 GMT

Today, we roll out the first video in our new informational series, Hope for the Holidays. This series will run through December and highlight different aspects of grieving during the Holidays and offer tools to help you cope and heal. New posts will go up every Wednesday afternoon.

In our first video, we are offering 10 tips for dealing with your grief during the Holidays. Our hope is that you can take these tips and apply them during this time to ease some of the pain and stress that comes with grieving during the Holidays. Children’s Grief Connection serves families who are devastated by the death of a loved one.

Please like and subscribe in the video to be notified of our next post.

Fall Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp 2020 is on! Here are the safety precautions…

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 17:22:00 GMT

Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp, Fall 2020

Will we be having camp this fall?

Yes! We are planning for a safe and impactful one-day, in-person program on November 7th, 2020.

To maximize safety for everyone we are consolidating our usual three-day experience to a single day. This is to avoid the risks inherent with overnight stays in shared spaces.

What are we doing to protect campers and volunteers while at camp?

In particular, the following policies will be adhered to:

Facemasks will be required at all times indoors unless a person is eating in the dining hall
All food will be eaten in the dining hall. Sharing circles (age appropriate pods) will be seated together, while physically distanced from others..
Each camper will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
A temperature screening will be required of volunteers and campers upon arrival. Any family member with a temperature above 100.3, or deemed a risk because of potential exposure to the virus will be sent home
Sharing circles will not exceed 10 participants in order to adhere to the 10-person limit indicated in guidelines.
Camp St. Croix staff is following cleaning and disinfecting standards more stringent than those recommended by the CDC.
Weather permitting, activities will take place outdoors, or with windows and outside doors propped open to allow fresh air to circulate in the buildings.
Hand washing and sanitizing will be required before each activity and when transitioning to a different area.
Campers will not be permitted to stay overnight at Camp St. Croix.
Sharing circles will use outdoor walkways to transition to different areas
Campers will be provided with water bottles.No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
We will not be providing care for children under school age at this camp.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
Capacity will be limited to 55 persons

Information for volunteers

Each volunteer will be asked to respond to health screening questions to ensure safe program participation. All participants will be asked to sign a waiver upon arrival at camp.
Volunteers traveling to participate in the camp will be allowed to stay overnight, though only sharing cabins if they belong to the same household. We will be asking volunteers that live in the metro area to sleep at home on Friday night.
Volunteers will be asked to bring their own water bottle. No drinking fountains will be used. No sharing of water bottles will be allowed.
Volunteers will receive COVID-19 safety training as a complement to their training on camp programs and standard procedures.
No Camp Prep Day at the Sturgeon Lake storage facility will take place in order to limit contact with the community and each other.
One facemask will be provided to each volunteer upon arrival at camp. Please bring at least one personal “back up” mask.

Response of Children’s Grief Connection if someone becomes sick.

During Camp
A participant who is showing symptoms will be isolated and seen by the Camp Nurse for an assessment. If the participant is a child, the Executive Director will inform the parents/legal guardians that their child(ren) is showing symptoms. Should a participant show symptoms, they will be asked to get a COVID-19 test at their own cost, and share the results with CGC (as indicated in the waiver). All participants will be notified by the Executive Director of a suspected case and immediately sent home. CGC will communicate findings via phone call with all families in a timely manner.]

CGC will inform local health officials of suspected or confirmed cases immediately.

After Camp

CGC will immediately inform participants about any potential contact they may have had with suspected or confirmed cases.

FAQs

What if I cannot wear a mask due to medical reasons?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

What if my situation or condition makes me more vulnerable to COVID 19?

We recommend that you not attend this camp.

Can you guarantee that my family will not be exposed to or get sick from COVID 19?

How will you ensure physical distancing with younger campers?

What if I’d like to attend, but I am not from the metro area?

We encourage you to attend! There are a number of hotels very close to YMCA Camp St. Croix that we can recommend for you to stay at on Friday or Saturday night.

How do I register for Fall Camp?

To register for Fall Camp 2020, click this link

I have a question that isn’t covered here.

Please email hope@childrensgriefconnection.com and we will answer your questions as quickly as possible.

Moving With Grief

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 16:00:00 GMT

Our first annual Moving with Grief 5k was held Saturday, August 22nd, 2020. Thank you to all the participants and to our sponsors (see below). We were able to raise $2,778! This is well over our goal for the first year of holding this event. Thank you to our dedicated board members Brenna Rothmeier and Carly Gaytan-Kiser for founding and organizing this event. To check out pictures from the day, click here .

Providing Care, Connection and Community

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 19:34:00 GMT

For almost 25 years, Children’s Grief Connection has provided care, connection, and community to almost one thousand families grieving the death of a loved one. Our organization recognizes grief as a universal human process and that all who mourn benefit and learn from being invited into a caring community. Our bereavement camp, Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp, welcomes all families, without regard to family composition, race, or creed.

As an organization, Children’s Grief Connection aims to maintain and expand the diverse community that is created during our camps through ongoing grief education and online support groups. At a time when our society is fraught with division, we continue to work for healing through these most basic human needs: care, connection, and community.

Alex Treitler, Executive Director

Tyler Schwichtenberg, President of the Board

Online Pandemic Roundtable for Funeral Directors

Fri, 15 May 2020 16:22:00 GMT

Children’s Grief Connection with the endorsement of MFDA is launching the “Pandemic Roundtable”, a free virtual meeting place for Funeral Directors. The Roundtable is an open forum for funeral directors and their employees to address challenges faced during the COVID 19 pandemic and discuss strategies and solutions. The Roundtable meets on Zoom, Wednesdays, May 20 – June 17, 3:00-4:00 pm. As this is an online forum, participation by funeral directors anywhere in the U.S. is encouraged. Attendance at each session is not required but preferred, participants are asked to sign on at or before 3 pm and will be required to sign a confidentiality agreement as sensitive information may be exchanged. Please register your interest by following the link here and entering your name and email address.

The Pandemic Roundtable facilitators, Julie Domogalla and Alex Treitler have over 40 years combined experience in serving funeral directors and grieving families. Julie is a Thanatologist with a degree from Marian University, a certified facilitator and has led grief support groups for many years. She now runs Under Blue Skies, LLC; a grief hermitage in Askov, MN. Alex is the Executive Director of Children’s Grief Connection. He has degrees in Divinity and Theology from Uppsala University in Sweden and Union Theological Seminary in New York. Alex served congregations in Stockholm, Sweden and was Organization Director of Spiritual Care for Augustana Care/Cassia in Minnesota. He has officiated at hundreds of funerals in Sweden and the U.S. As a participant and to offer the celebrant’s perspective in the group, Alex and Julie have invited John Marboe, who works with numerous funeral directors to provide spiritual care and funeral rituals for grieving families. John is Pastor of Zion Lutheran Church, E.L.C.A., St. Paul and Community Faculty at the U of M. To register your interest in the Pandemic Roundtable, please click here . If you have questions, please contact Alex by email alex@childrensgriefconnection.com , or call/text (651) 395-8177.

Julie lives on a rural farm with her husband and several animals. Together they have five adult children. Julie loves camping, hiking, kayaking, and making music. Recently she has taken time to learn how to play acoustic guitar. This will be her fifth instrument in her repertoire.

Alex has four children ranging in age from 30 to 8 and two grandchildren, ages seven and five. Two of Alex’s greatest interests are travel and language. He is also a lover of jazz, R&B, soul and klezmer music.

John Marboe is Pastor of Zion Lutheran Church (ELCA) in St. Paul, MN. He works “on call” with funeral directors across the Metro to provide spiritual care and funeral services for families in need. John teaches courses on “Youthwork and Spirituality” in the Youth Studies program at the University of Minnesota. He holds a PhD in Mythological Studies

I look forward to this round table forum, not only as a way to share and learn information in response to the extraordinary challenges we face today, but also as a space to share at the level of heart. Our work is extra stressful. Yet in meaningful connections there is the opportunity to find strength and to grow as service and care providers.

John lives in the historic W.7th neighborhood of St. Paul with his wife Andrea and daughter Charlie (17). He is active in interfaith dialogue with other faith leaders, plays tennis and guitar, and rides a scooter.

Julie S. Domogalla, MS, is the owner of Under Blue Skies, where she works as a Thanatologist providing grief support for individuals through compassionate accompaniment, spiritual guidance, education and advocacy in a hermitage retreat setting. Her focus in research includes serving rural individuals, in bereavement care and more specifically in perinatal loss. She is an active presenter at conferences and workshop training. Julie is a volunteer serving as a facilitator for grief support groups, both in person and on telehealth portals.

In the profession of a funeral director, the challenges of serving families is complicated in this pandemic. Our conversations and inspirations will provide a sharing of ideas and struggles. Further, we hope the participants find a welcoming group of individuals who share and support one another.

Alex Treitler is the Executive Director of Children’s Grief Connection. He has over 25 years’ experience in Spiritual Care and was most recently the Organization Director of Spiritual Care at Augustana Care of Minnesota.

“I have a lot of experience from groups I’ve led and groups I’ve been a part of how much learning can happen,” Alex says. “Especially in a time like this, it’s easy to get stuck when you’re isolated. I think that the Pandemic Roundtable can help us all get unstuck and do better.”

Hope at Home: Art at Home with Mary Frank

Thu, 14 May 2020 18:55:00 GMT

Join us today as Mary Frank talks about everyday ways to bring art into your home.

Hope at Home: Erin talks about Brighter Days Grief Center

Thu, 14 May 2020 18:00:00 GMT

Today we’re talking with Erin, a former Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp camper, about her involvement with Brighter Days Grief Center.

Hope at Home: Camp is Canceled, but our light still shines.

Fri, 08 May 2020 16:21:00 GMT

Please see this statement from our Executive Director and Board President: Given the risk of spreading COVID-19 through social contact, Children’s Grief Connection is until further notice canceling all in-person activities. Unfortunately, this means that the rescheduled May 15-17 Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp at Big Sandy Camp in McGregor, MN has been canceled. While we are following the recommendations of national and state authorities, canceling programming is not a decision we make lightly. We recognize that the uncertainty inherent in the current situation may be particularly difficult while grieving the death of a loved one. Children’s Grief Connection (CGC) remains committed to families living with grief. Though we have not been able to meet in person, we are remaining connected through the following programs: Hope at Home In early April, we launched our Hope at Home program and have so far posted 17 videos with activities for children and families and weekly interviews with grief and trauma experts providing insight and tools for families and individuals living with grief. Support Groups During the week of May 17, Children’s Grief Connection is offering three open grief support groups for teens, emerging adults, and adults/parents. Pandemic Roundtable Given CGC’s close ties with Funeral Directors, we are during the week of May 17 also launching the Pandemic Roundtable, a forum for funeral directors to share experiences and ideas during this difficult time. The support groups and the Pandemic Roundtable are all led by trained and experienced facilitators. Like all Children’s Grief Connection programs, these groups are free, supported through generous donations from our sponsors and donors. Please log onto https://childrensgriefconnection.com to learn more and register. Finally, we want to reassure all those who registered for the spring Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp that you will be offered priority pre-registration for the November 6-8, 2020 Camp.

Wishing you health and hope,

Alex Treitler Tyler Schwichtenberg

Executive Director President of the Board of Directors

Hope At Home: Kids, Parents, and School at Home

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 15:00:00 GMT

In today’s video, our Executive Director Alex will be talking to Reagan about 1.) Children’s telehealth services 2.) Ways that we can help our children during this time 3.) Why using the term Crisis Learning is so appropriate 4.) How to get closure on the shortened school year and 5.)Ways to connect with your child during the quarantine

Hope at Home: Bringing Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp to where you are.

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 20:13:00 GMT

Dear Friends,

A week ago, we made the difficult decision to postpone our spring Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp. Though we know this was the right decision, we also recognize that not having camp leaves a gap in the lives of the families and volunteers who were looking forward to attending.

That’s why right now, until we see each other at Camp, we are launching “Hope at Home,” a series of in-home programs for grieving families. Hope at Home will feature some of the highlights of what we do at Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp, as well as other material that we think can be fun, helpful and informative.

Content will include short how-to videos for arts and crafts projects; mindfulness, yoga and relaxation instruction; informative presentations on various topics; and interviews with experts.

While the presentations will generally be around 15 minutes, some will be shared “live” so that you can interact with the presenter by asking questions or making comments. These live presentations may last up to half an hour.

We’re calling this series, “Hope at Home” because we recognize that especially for those grieving the death of a loved one, the uncertainty over the present situation leaves us feeling overwhelmed and isolated. Hope at Home will bring Hearts of Hope Family Grief Camp to where you are, help you connect with others who may be feeling the same way, and share activities, ideas and information that will help you feel hopeful.

We will post a new Hope at Home presentation every Monday and Thursday afternoon, starting on Monday, March 23.. Look for details on our Facebook community page https://www.facebook.com/CGCMN .

To go directly to YouTube to see this series, click here https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8zIkNWZemI6DlA8nzY4d8n5uhljxnFu-

***************

Our first presenter, Morgan Lekander, is an early childhood educator certified in trauma-informed care. Morgan will be completing her degree in Early Childhood Education at the University of Wisconsin, Whitewater. Her training has helped her gain a deep understanding of childhood development and developmentally appropriate practice.

Morgan writes: “My presentation will cover the topic of worry and related emotions using a children’s story. My presentation can be replicated at home with your child and will offer some tips to help your child feel in control during an uncontrollable time.”

Welcome to the Children’s Grief Connection Community and Hope at Home.

Children’s Grief Connection Staff: Alex Treitler, Jessica Moujouros, Melanie Bexell

Wear blue for Children’s Grief Awareness Day, November 21, 2019

Tue, 19 Nov 2019 17:42:00 GMT

This Thursday, and every third Thursday in November, is Children’s Grief Awareness Day across the US. With Thanksgiving coming a week later and other holidays soon to follow, the date is purposefully chosen. This is a difficult time of year. If you and others in your circle of family and caregivers are grieving the death of a loved one, their absence is especially difficult now.

The grief of children and teens is unique because of the ways in which they feel and express grief. Thursday, November 21 is a day set aside to remind us of children and teens’ special need for support in their grief. It is a day also to advocate for children and teens and to recognize their needs. A child that is old enough to love is a child that is old enough to grieve.

So what can we do? Wear blue ! Blue symbolizes hope. While grief lasts a lifetime, it can ease over time. While we miss the one who has died, there is hope. Wearing blue shows that you care about children who are grieving. If someone asks you, you can tell them about how grieving children need the recognition and support of caring adults.

I invite you to wear blue, take a selfie and post it on your social media accounts on November 21. Use the hashtags #CGADHOPE and #CGCMN. There are many of us who know something of children’s grief, recognize it and are attentive to it. We remember, we are there for each other, we have HOPE.

Alex Treitler, Executive Director

Children’s Grief Connection

The post Wear blue for Children’s Grief Awareness Day, November 21, 2019 appeared first on Healing Hearts Connection .

We need a ride!

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Hey, thanks for clicking through on our Facebook post! Let me explain a little more about what we’re looking for…Remember in our last post we talked about our new partnership with Camp Hometown Heroes , and our new HOPE Squad? Well, we need a way to get the HOPE Squad to Wisconsin, and that way is renting mini vans.

We are looking for sponsors for those mini vans. The cost to sponsor 1 mini van for 2 weeks is $1200. In return for your sponsorship, we will thank you on our social media, and on signage on the mini van as it travels through Minnesota and Wisconsin this July. So, if you, or your employer, or your business are interested in giving us a ride, please contact Jessica at jessica@childrensgriefconnection.com

A Memorial Day Announcement

Mon, 28 May 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Memorial Day is a day set aside to remember and honor people who have died serving in our country’s armed forces. That is why we have chosen Memorial Day to announce a new partnership. This summer, Children’s Grief Connection will partner with Camp Hometown Heroes to provide the grief support and programming portion of their summer camp.

Since 2013, Camp Hometown Heroes has provided free week-long overnight summer camps for children and siblings between the ages of seven to seventeen of fallen U.S. service members who died in any manner: combat, accident, illness or suicide. During their visit to camp, perhaps for the first time in their young lives, the children have the opportunity to openly discuss their feelings and experiences.

The mission of Camp Hometown Heroes, “Healing Hearts and Restoring Hope to Children of Fallen U.S. Service Members” is one not unlike the mission of Children’s Grief Connection, “Providing Hope and Healing to grieving families”. We at Children’s Grief Connection are both thankful for the opportunity to continue our mission through Camp Hometown Heroes, and excited to be able to assist Camp Hometown Heroes in their ongoing, vital program with the help of some of our dedicated volunteers, which we’ve dubbed the HOPE Squad.

HOPE was chosen for the acronym Helping Out People Everywhere. A squad is the smallest unit in the military, and can also be defined as, “any small group or party of persons engaged in a common enterprise.” Our HOPE Squad of Children’s Grief Connection volunteers will travel to Wisconsin for two weeks this July, giving not only their precious summer time to this cause, but also their hearts. Children’s Grief Connection is both honored and excited to be able to provide grief support staff to Camp Hometown Heroes. We believe it is our honor and privilege to give comfort and hope to these children, because their loved ones gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

If you are a former volunteer, and are interested in joining our HOPE Squad this summer, please email Jessica at jessica@childrensgriefconnection.com

To learn more about Camp Hometown Heroes, and the amazing opportunity they provide, please visit their website .

5 Things you can do if you’re grieving the loss of your mother this Mother’s Day

Wed, 09 May 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Whatever your age, whether 8, 28, 48, or 88, losing a mother is one of the hardest things to go through, especially when Mother’s Day comes around. Here are five things that may help:

Remember your mother on Mother’s Day. Remember you are grieving the loss of your mother on this day. Even if you are happy to be a mother and celebrate with your children, even if you have spent many years missing your mom on Mother’s Day, this is now, and you miss her still.
Celebrate your mother on Mother’s Day. Just because your mother is not physically with you this Mother’s Day, you can still celebrate her and the special person she was in your life. Set her photograph out somewhere, light a candle for her, buy flowers in her honor, tell a story about your mom.
Reflect on mom this Mother’s Day. Spend a little time this Mother’s Day reflecting on how things would be if your mother were still with you, or what your mother would say about how you are doing now, if you’re facing a challenge, reflect ‘what would mom do?’
Support someone who is grieving the loss of their mother this Mother’s Day. Think of all the people you know who might be grieving the loss of their mother this year, reach out to them and offer your support, a listening ear or a hug.We all need to know there are still people out there who love and support us.
Take Care. On Mother’s Day, be sure to take care of yourself. To honor your mother, treat yourself gently, with kindness and love this Mother’s Day ….just like your mom would do.

5 things you can do for grieving mothers on Mother’s Day.

Sun, 06 May 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Mother’s Day is coming, and while many people are thinking of ideas to recognize their own mothers on Mother’s Day, there is an “invisible” group of women for whom this day may be very painful. Grieving mothers. So, what can you do for them? Here’s a quick list:

Acknowledge that this day may be painful for them. ” I know this may be a hard day. Please know I am thinking of you”
Speak their child’s name. One of the things we hear our families say most is that they miss hearing their loved one’s name.
Acknowledge that they are a mother. Let them know that you remember they are a mother, even though their child is no longer alive.
Don’t try to minimize their loss with “helpful” words. Comments like “God wanted an angel”, or trying to be positive by saying things like, ” You can have more children” or ” At least you still have (insert living child’s name)”, while well meaning, can be extremely hurtful.
Promote Self Care. Many mothers are quick to sacrifice their own mental and physical health for the needs of their family. This is especially true of grieving mothers. Encourage them to take time on Mother’s Day for themselves. We use the “Oxygen Mask” metaphor. If you don’t take time to secure your own health and safety, you won’t be able to help others.

If know a grieving mother, we encourage you to reach out this Mother’s Day. The smallest kindness can make an enormous impact.

“I Grieve So Hard”

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 19:21:00 GMT

The internet is FULL of grief resources, references and recommendations. There is a site out there for everyone as they traverse their grief.

I recently got a chance to view a particularly insightful video from two women who never intended to be a grief resource. Their web videos are titled I Mom So Hard .

Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, comedy performers, writers and teachers who happen to be moms of young children, began the series of videos that are full of laughter as they make fun out of mothering. They chose to approach motherhood with their comedy and sense of humor (along with a minimum two glasses of wine) in a brash, no-holds-barred, real-life way. Any followers of their web series knew they were going to ‘laugh-so-hard’ when they tuned in. That’s why they may not have expected a recent offering called “I Grieve So Hard” where Jen and Kristin talk about how hard it is to grieve the loss of Jen’s dad, Jerry.

The video starts out with in typical Jen/Kristin/MomSoHard humor talking about how Kristin’s husband wants to make funeral arrangements, figure out whose going to take care of their kids should something happen to them, talk about the ‘afterlife’; Kristin and Jen make fun of these difficult topics. Bringing a sense of humor to a difficult topic eases the difficulty for many people. No parent wants to think about dying and leaving their children behind so who wants to talk about who would care for our orphaned children? And yet…the question needs to be asked by all parents – who will care for my children if I can’t?

Kristin is a glowing example of what I call a grief ‘companion’, she’s there, right by her friend Jen’s side, to support her and begins the story of what ultimately ends in Jen saying out loud that her dad has died. Throughout the five minutes they spend on this topic Kristin remains by her friend’s side, listening intently turning her body toward Jen and paying close attention. At one point Kristin wipes the tears from Jen’s face in the sweetest way. Sometimes handing a grieving person a tissue or wiping away their tears can be a sign to the griever to ‘Stop crying’. But this gentle display of friendship does not ask her friend to stop crying it says, ‘I’m here for you, I’ll care for you, I’ll wipe away your tears so more can come, I’m okay with your tears’.

Jen talks painfully about her father not having a funeral and how, without that acknowledgment, that age-old ritual of a funeral, it feels as though the world keeps going, no one stopped to remember her dad, to comfort her sorrow in community. Kristin agrees and tells Jen her brain didn’t get a chance to celebrate his life or say goodbye. Kristin, and this video give Jen that chance to celebrate her dad, to remember him, to share his life with her friend (and the hundreds of thousands of follower friends). Kristin sparks memories of Jen’s dad that give her permission to continue to remember and cherish her dad, asking about his being a colonel. They marvel at him, they laugh about him and his trips to Taco Bell. I often ask people to share a memory of the time she or he made you laugh or tell me something funny about your loved one to spark that little bit of laughter and bring balance to the bittersweet or sad memories with the happy, joyful times spent together. In our most profound sadness it is laughter or a small sweet smile that can ‘fool’ our brain chemistry into feeling better. Kristin encourages Jen to talk about her feelings, about her memories ‘even if it makes you cry’, again giving her permission to be sad and a message that I will be here with you even in your sadness.

The ladies jump to what they do best, talk about being moms, moms who are grieving ‘so hard’. Jen talks about how hard it is to be a mom, a wife ‘or even an operational human’. Jen speaks to one of the most profound lessons we learn as-an-adult when a parent dies: your parent dies and ‘all of a sudden you’re an adult’. Jen reminds us that becoming an adult is not when you have your own kids, it’s when you don’t have anybody you can ask or go cry too; and again Kristin steps in to acknowledge that feeling saying: when you need them the most, and they’re not there. If you’ve had both your parents die, no matter your age, you feel ‘orphaned’.

After Kristin tells Jen she’s ‘doing a great job’, Jen thanks Kristin for ‘letting me cry a lot even though it makes you uncomfortable’. Being available, listening, gently wiping her tears, sharing through the uncomfortable feelings is what a good grief companion and friend does to help. Kristin shared a poem she once heard that helped her (see below) and allowed Jen to believe she would see her dad again one day, even if her ‘scientist’ dad didn’t believe that. And as the tears flow yet again, Kristin wraps Jen in a hug and tells her simply: I’m sorry honey.

Click this link to view the full video

She no doubt will repeat that several times in the months to come and they will laugh and cry together doing their mom thing – so hard.

Grief is hard, being a mom is hard, life is hard – only good friends, people who love us, and laughter can ease the hard parts of life.

Death Is Nothing At All

By Henry Scott-Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland